Letting go, starting anew

The earlier post dealt more with catching up on the major happenings since the first post. This post will detail what I have been thinking about recently, since the possibility of Adrian being on the autism spectrum has been brought to the forefront. On Tuesday, I felt mostly relief. It seemed that finally someone was listening to me and that my child was NOT NORMAL. All of the idiosyncrasies, the compulsions, the emotional fragility...it just began to make sense. He has also been refusing to nap, and absolutely hates to go to sleep. In recent weeks, I have noticed increased aggression and perhaps even REGRESSION when bladder and bowel control are concerned. These unusual behaviors are mostly associated with him being told to do something that he emphatically disagrees with. However, the aggression and bladder control issues have also manifested themselves in the sleep routine. He has awaken frequently with screams, tantrums, and other odd behaviors for seemingly no reason at all. Last night, Adrian woke up three times because he peed his pants and wet the bed twice. Why? Who knows...he's been potty trained for months now. It has been emotionally draining to know that my child has what might as well be termed a chronic illness, one that could carry an immense and negative social stigma with it. But I will learn to deal. I will too surmount being the mother of an Asperger's child. I have let go of the child that I thought I had, an intelligent, witty, funny boy. I am now in the process of embracing a very similar child, yet I must add other adjectives such as emotionally fragile to the list. On the surface, it changes things slightly. Yet, it also changes things permanently. This is now who he is and I want the very best for him.